I am mad, its not going how I wanted;
I can't understand.
But I don't want to lose you,
I don't want to be apart from you.
You are the one in my life,
you are more beautiful than heaven.
- Heaven by Big Bang
That's exactly how I feel right now. I thought everything was gonna go back to the way it was this afternoon. We seemed so close. But then again, it might just have been my illusion. Why is it that whenever I think that something was so gonna go smoothly, something else just had to make it screw up and mess my life up again.My life is like a jumbled-up mess. Why can't it straighten itself? Arrgh
Today
Science for 1st period. Nothing much tho,except that Keven asked Mdm Rozana to let us watch a video on eating insects. So totally grossed out after that can?... Recessed as usual at the library, then History. Today pretty mundane tho, no laughter nor jokes, Mr Chin was in a quite serious mood.o.o
Can't remember what's next. Urh, Maths I think. Went through stuff. No recollection tho. Feeling the after effects of sleep deprivation. Chinese after that. Chiong-ed finish the Chinese compre she gave us. Left last question. Hand pain like hell after that. L.A last period. Not good tho, do narratives. Another hour of speed writing. Wlao, my hand feels super numb now siol. I wrote pretty mundanely, nothing interesting. Then swapped with Keven read each other essay, he's so niceee...so imaginative. -no sarcasm intended- Then he still say I zai, write so pro. Where got lor, Chen Ning and Shauna pro-er. They wrote so much seh...pro manxzc.
After school, stayed back to wait for Beier. Found out some facts about my gor. It's like, through that few hours, we bonded more than ever. Maybe that's only my foolish thinking tho. I seriously don't know what's going on around me.
When back class pei Erika take bag, saw Suwen. What happened sia? Enqi and Jinrui act like they know, but he don't tell me. -.- nvm. Anyws, cheer up Suwen! Altho I don't know what happened, but yeah, cheer up. Life will be better de. Think on the bright side yea?
Talked about emo stuff. Alot of emo stuff. Convo veh diverse. Anyws, when Beier came out, went class do some hw. In the end do one pg of maths nia. Talked alot. Haiyo. This few days why keep feel like crying one? Failure. Seriously fail. Whatever. He suddenly came back emoin after snatching my phone. Weird.
Go home that time, dropped by at Macs. There was filming going on there. The actor raised both hands in mock surrender to nobody. Weird sia. Later went home with Beier and him.
Reached home pretty late, abt 7++ liddat. Slacked then do abit of hw and ended up blogging. Was thinking alot. On the way home, he told me why suddenly so emo. Weird reason. LOL.
I don't know what happened. It's like my world soared up to the heavens and came crushing back down on me cruelly. Its not fun at all. Seriously not. Okay whatever. He called, but dk why, always impt calls frm ppl I miss, then went I call back, it's too late. Just like just now, called back but he hung up after awhile without telling me what happened. He was emo again.
If I carry on with this emo post, I'm gonna break down so byes.
Emily
What do you mean by making me so happy just to crush the little sprout of hope and happiness cruelly awhile later? Forget it, just forget it.
